The Littles

These two have had a decidedly different toddler/preschool experience than William and Marie did. Naturally they would because they have an older brother and sister and, well, William and Marie don't. Much more of their mornings and days have been spent in the car going to and fro instead of humoring mommy as she tried to carry out the latest activity from "No Time for Flash Cards" or whatever other silly blog had caught her eye.

Anyway, I snapped this picture one morning before we went out the door to preschool. After moving to our new house, every Tuesday and Thursday morning consisted of getting the big kids out the door to school and then getting the younger two ready to head down to Layton for Anne's preschool. While Anne was at preschool Sam and I would run errands, or visit a park, or go to the gym. Going to the gym was the most consistent adventure.

Before I know it these two will be heading into 4th and 2nd grade. Time marches on, no one can argue with that.

I'm grateful for the time I have been given and all that I get to fill it with.

Including these two little rascals.

I love them both.

Phew.

On Tuesday night I was at a neighborhood cooking group. We pick a theme or ingredient each month and make a dish that represents it to share with each other. The theme that night was bacon. Anyway, I glanced at my phone just as I was leaving and I had a text from Brandon,

"Bishop Rackham wants to stop by at 8:15."

It was 8:06.

I rushed home, hoping I would get there with at least a couple of minutes to spare, knowing that things were going to be crazy. I had left a very messy kitchen for Brandon and the kids. Homemade maple bacon donuts and bacon corn chowder will do that. I pulled in right as the entire bishopric also pulled up to the house. I was surprised they were all there, as they had visited a month prior, but I didn't think much of it. I assumed they were going to issue me a calling or maybe ask us to part of trek or something normal like that.

They came in very solemnly and asked to meet wtih us without the kids. We sent the kids upstairs to watch a movie and sat down. Bishop totally skipped the small talk and looked at Brandon,

"Brother Struthers, (at this point Brandon's heart sank because he thought they were going to give him a different calling,with me still not having even on, which he knew has been hard on me. I like to feel needed in a ward) would you be willing to support your wife in a calling."

"Yes."

"Sister Struthers, we would like you to serve as Relief Society President."

Shock in my eyes.
I looked at Brandon.
My eyes filled with tears.

"That is not what I was expecting to hear. I am overwhelmed. And honored."And after just those few words, I was speechless. Me? Relief Society President?

We talked a tiny bit more, enough for me to know that I needed to choose my presidency and submit names by Saturday, but I think the bishopric knew they should probably just duck out and let us process the life changing moment that had just happened. They were right.

And process it we have done. With much more processing needed. I have not been sustained yet, and wondered if I should write this post prior to that. However, I wanted to write down my thoughts and feelings while they were still fresh.

Picking my counselors was my first daunting task. We have lived in the ward just over 3 months. It is a friendly and wonderful ward, so I have met many of the women already, but I have yet to meet even more. I looked at the ward directory they had left me and just though, "How will I do this?" By yesterday, Wednesday, I had managed to narrow it down to some select names, but still felt hesitant. What if I chose wrong? How can I possibly know who will be best for this calling? How do I know who the Lord needs to serve and who I need to help me? I took a mental break and looked at Instagram. Right as I glanced at it I saw these words, "Guide me as I search in weakness." Yes! That is just what I needed! I looked up the words to the entire hymn that was being quoted:


LEAD ME INTO LIFE ETERNAL
Lead me into life eternal
By the gospel's holy call.
Let thy promise rest upon me;
Grant me ready strength for all.

Father, all my heart I give thee;
All my service shall be thine.
Guide me as I search in weakness;
Let thy loving light be mine.

Hear me as I pray in meekness; Let my strength be as thy day.

Give me faith, the greater knowledge;

Father, bless me as I pray.

Knowing that I cannot possibly do this right within my own abilities and bounds is a blessing because it forces me to turn to the Lord. And this is his work, after all. I should turn to him. I had been prayerful as I looked at names but I was still holding onto my own logic. My dad had told me I would know, I would clearly know, who I needed by my side. This hymn was my second witness. So, I talked it through a bit more with Brandon, looked at the names for a few moments, and then it was clear. The names were there.I will be going to the temple on Friday to receive further confirmation and submitting the names to the Bishop on Saturday, when he arrives home from girls camp.

This is real, folks. I am completely humbled and completely nervous and completely excited. I have no idea what's in store for me, other than the fact that I know it is going to require a lot of me, my kids, and my husband.This is so different from when I was Relief Society President at Ricks 15 years ago. (I was actually extended that calling almost exactly 15 years ago.) But there is one thing that will be the same and that is the most important;lesson I learned from that experience. Heavenly Father loves these women more than any of them can comprehend and it is my calling to do what I can, under his counsel and direction, to help them to see even a small piece of that love. Isn't that what every calling is truly about? To help, in anyway no matter how great or how small, bring each other closer to Heavenly Father? (I really wish more people understood that, even myself.)

I close with the words of the hymn again. My theme song for this era of my life.

Father, all my heart I give thee;
All my service shall be thine.
Guide me as I search in weakness;
Let thy loving light be mine.

Here goes everything.

1. 
   

Marie-esque: Primary Talks and School

I have a couple of talks that Marie gave in Primary I wanted to save and document here. The first of the two was from January, before we moved. I admit that I basically wrote it for her. (That's not unusual for a 7-year-old talk, right?) What I loved so much about the talk was that when she was done she had a glowing look about her. She came over to me and she said, "Mommy, I've never said words like that. I really liked them and I felt the Spirit when I said them, especially the last part." Music to a mother's ears.

She is such a special girl and has absolutely thrived in kindergarten and first grade. She is always one of the best students in the class, loves to be helpful, is smart and organized, is an outstanding reader, makes friends easily, and is just genuinely a joy to have around. It has been such a relief for us, as we have been dealing with some hard things with our wonderful William.  They both come by their tendencies quite honestly and I am amazed when I look at them and think that they are from the same parents! (Tangent: Don't judge or applaud parents too enthusiastically. I think in doing so we really forget whom they really belong and who truly deserves the credit.)

Anyway, she loves to volunteer for talks and so, we have a couple to record.

1)
There are two different types of peaple that take care of sheep. One is called a sheep herder, or a hired shepherd. The sheepherder rarely loves his sheep. If a wolf attacks the flock, a sheepherder may run away to save his own life, leaving the wolf to scatter and kill the sheep. The other type is the good shepherd. A good shepherd owns his sheep. They are his, and he takes care of them. He will do anything necessary to protect his sheep, even die for them.

John 10:4 reads: And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. 

Jesus spoke these words when teaching that he is like the good shepherd.

In verses 11 and 12 he said,

I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth hi life for the sheep. But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth  them, and scattereth the sheep.

Jesus Christ is the Good Shepherd. he suffered and died for us so that we could return to Heavenly Father. We are His sheep if we will listen to His voice and follow Him. We do this by keeping the commandments, studying the scriptures, and obeying the prophets and the promptings of the Holy Ghost. We may not actually see the Savior in this life. But if we have faith in Him and follow His voice, He will protect us and lead us in the correct paths.

In closing, I would like to bear my testimony of Jesus Christ (and she did so).

The other was from today. We were sent a reminder text an hour before church. I was so grateful for that! Normally it is sent the night before, but an hour to spare was better than walking in to Primary and being reminded. So, Marie and I rushed upstairs and put a talk together. Here is what she said,

This is a picture of my brother William when he was 8 years old and chose to be baptized. The day he was baptized I felt the Spririt. I was very excited for him. I knew that he was doing something that Heavenly Father asked Him to do. Even Jesus was baptized because He knew it was a commandment. In Matthew 3:13-17 it reads: 

13 Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him.
14 But John forbad him, saying, I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me?
15 And Jesus answering said unto him, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness. The he suffered him,
16 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:
17 And lo a voice from heaven , saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

I know that Heavenly Father is well pleased when each of us is baptized. In just a few months I will be old enough to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The promises that I make will help me to return to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ one day. I will promise to take upon myself the name of Jesus Christ, always remember Him, keep His commandments, and serve Him and others. I will also be confirmed a member of the Church and given the gift of the Holy Ghost. This will help me to keep the promises that I make that day.

I cannot wait to be baptized. I know that I will feel the Spirit just like I did when my brother was baptized. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

She did a fabulous job on both talks. She reads so well and loves to share the Gospel. I love to hear the words of the Gospel on my children's lips. And I love my Marie so very much.

Marie's First Grade Opera

May 7th, our sweet Miss Marie had a class performance. They performed an opera that was written and staged by them. In preparation for it, Marie came home every single day excited to tell us about the latest developments. So, I am going to let her do the talking on this blog post:

 This is the opera and it takes place in Africa. There are monkeys, cats, rhinos, and giraffes. We painted all the scenery. I painted so much that I can't remember exactly what I painted.

 That's my friends and me. Ari, RJ, and Knightely. They came to see me and I was excited because they don't go to my school. I felt special because they came. They are my best friends.

 That's me and my friend Kyla. We were monkeys together. We did exactly the same thing the whole time. We liked to do actions to the songs.

 That's me and my sister Anne. And we're by the bilboa tree. I was glad that Anne was there and everybody else.

 I feel happy because Sam is so cute and I really like his smile.

This is my teacher Mrs. Maw by the bilbao tree, also. We made it all by ourself. She is really nice to me and my class. I'm so glad she's my teacher and I hope that she will teach me for 4th grade.

The Opera!

On Motherhood

Mother's Day has me thinking about motherhood lately. Ironic, no?

On Tuesday I was at a Relief Society meeting and, as is inevitable, we were talking about our kids. There was a good mix of ages in the circle. The RS president, after I told a story about Samuel, smiled and shook her head and said, "Sometimes I'm glad I'm passed that stage." I thanked her for saying that because it is never encouraging when the common response to my woes are, "Enjoy it!" Her response was that I will miss it, but some things you are okay to leave behind. I couldn't agree more. Then another of the women with grown children said she'd take her babies in diapers coloring on the walls any day because those choices are not life altering. "Once your kids are old enough to make life altering decisions," she said, "you will wish these days back in a heartbeat."

I'm not naive or immature enough to argue with that. I've been a mother long enough that I can already look back at old pictures and yearn for just a few moments with each of my children as babies and toddlers and preschoolers. How my arms ache sometimes to hold them again! The pictures from even a year ago surprise me when I realize how much my kids have grown and changed right under my nose. Every time I carry Sam I know that the last time I hold him is inching in on me and my heart hurts a little at the thought.

Yet, I can't mourn the loss of those years or wish them back for long because then I wouldn't have the people they are today. And I love these people so much.

And regarding the life altering decisions? Well, right now that is totally up to Brandon and I and that isn't exactly a cakewalk. We have made some doozy decisions on behalf of our children. We uprooted them from Clinton and then Layton and are now trying to find roots in Farr West. Our choice of schools, our choice to attend church, what activities we do or do not allow them to participate in, these are quite life altering. This week we had to make a couple of calls on behalf of a couple of our kids that were heavy and hard and, well, life altering.

I guess what I am trying to say is that parenting isn't easy now and I am quite positive it isn't going to be easy later. However, I refuse to believe that this is IT; that these are the glory years and it isn't going to get any better than this. Not because now isn't wonderful, but because later has so much promise, too!

My mom has a favorite phrase she likes to say, "I just love this stage." What stage? Whatever stage that certain child happens to be in. I have often teased her about it. More and more though, I see the wisdom behind it. The wisdom behind enjoying the here and now is powerful. Parenting can and should stretch us in different ways our entire lives. It is progressive, there will never be an arrival, a top of the mountain, if you will. All I can really do to find happiness in motherhood is to make the most of each day, because that is really all I have. The past will always be behind me and the future will always be just out of my reach. Today, however, will always be here.

I am resolved to do even better at making the most of it.

Loving Our New Normal

As we continue to settle in we are amazed at how "at home" we feel and how comfortable we are living here. There is so much to love and even more to be grateful for. As I scanned my photos trying to decide what to post these were some snapshots that stood out to me.

 After picking up the kids from school one afternoon (they walk or ride bikes or scooter to school, but some days I like to get my walk in by meeting them near the school to walk home with them). William and Marie decided to walk across the field that day to get to our house, which you can almost see there in the distance. The front portion of this field will be a field for quite some time, and then eventually a city park. The other half, the north half, has begun to be developed since taking this picture. A road is being built in preparation for "Phase V of V" of the neighborhood.

We all missed our little tables and books when we were renting. I think Anne, most especially, missed those things that meant "home" to her. She loves her home and her family. She loves to be cozy and comfortable in environments that are familiar to her. And she loves to read.

 She also loves ice cream. This was on the curb of the gas station that is just a walk away from our house. I picked the kids up from school on the Friday leading into Spring Break and we walked to get their 35 cent cones, which turned into cups full of ice cream.

And Sam, well, he has done his part to break in this house, which has involved breaking things, unfortunately. It has also involved eating on the floors, apparently. He keeps all of us laughing while we simultaneously are pulling our hair out in frustration.

Our new normal is beyond everything we hoped it would be when we made the crazy decision to move just over a year ago.

St. Patrick's Day

My kids, upon realizing that we have Irish ancestors, have decided that St. Patrick's Day is a pretty awesome and totally rad holiday. It isn't because the leprechauns have visited them every year with green goodies, or because they get new shirts or because their milk is always magically turned green. Nope, those are just bonuses to the fact that it is an Irish holiday and they are Irish. That makes me happy.

 The leprechauns played it simple this year with an assortment of green goodies to include in their lunches. Green shirts had been purchased a few weeks prior at Children's Place. Thank you, Children's Place, for always having an assortment of green shirts for super cheap.

 Besides that it was a normal day. A Tuesday, so I had to drive down to Layton for Anne's preschool. Sam and I filled the time by wandering Target and spending more money than I should have. I couldn't help myself! Sam, without me noticing, opened up a couple of packages of hot wheels at the beginning of the trip so he was super content to let me wander the store. William used to lay down and drive his cars like this. My boys and their cars.

 He was totally zoning out in the first picture and without even blinking,

 he noticed I was taking a picture and stuck out his tongue.

 When I laughed, he threw himself back into the cart in a fit of glee. That day, it was absolutely delightful to spend time with my buddy. I like days like that.

The rest of the day was spent laying low at home. I loved seeing them cuddle like this while they watched a movie. I think it must have been cold or rainy that day.